Eureka's Rules
by Aesop
Summary: Sheriff Jack Carter has a bad day and decides to lay down the law.  In a town full of people smarter than he is, is this wise?
1. Chapter 1

EUREKA'S RULES

By Aesop

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show, Eureka, or any of the characters, and no profit is earned in writing this.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I noted that no one at had yet put up a story like this for Eureka and wanted to be the first.

Deputy Jo Lupo had her hand on the door before she saw the paper. It was fastened to the wall next to the entrance to the Sheriff's office and held the simple heading NEW RULES. Below that was a paragraph that she read with growing confusion.

_For the safety of the citizens of Eureka and the continued sanity of your sheriff, the following _

_rules are to be obeyed by all residents of the town._

1. If you don't know what it is and what it does FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T TOUCH IT!!!

Lupo read the first and only entry twice. It was only 9:30 and Carter had already been pushed to putting up something like that? After taking a moment to consider calling in sick, she squared her shoulders and pushed through the door, certain it was going to be an interesting day.

OOOOOOOOOO

She'd been right, and Carter hadn't made it any easier. Generals could be annoying, it was true, but some discretion was called for. Taking a ballpoint pen from her pocket, she added to the list.

A few moments later Jack Carter emerged, closing up for the day, and saw the new entry.

2. Do not tease the brass. They sign our checks.

"Subtle, Jo, subtle."

OOOOOOOOOO

The next entries appeared quickly over the course of two days.

3. 'It is better to seek forgiveness than ask permission,' no longer applies to Zoë Carter.

Being out past curfew was one thing. Leaving the house in the middle of the night for a date was quite another, especially when the boy was doing dangerous experiments involving pheromones. The next entry was added later the same day.

3a. Or Fargo.

Jack found the last entry the following afternoon in Allison's handwriting.

3b. Or Sheriff Carter

"Now that's just unfair. It's my list." Jo, who had been following him into the station, laughed out loud before pushing by him.

OOOOOOOOOO

Jack sighed at the next entry when it appeared just two days later in Henry's handwriting. He fully agreed, but wondered what had sparked it. He knew that Henry and Stark had had another disagreement, but wasn't sure of the details, as neither one would talk about it. This, at least, was a clue.

4. Just because you can do it doesn't mean you should.

OOOOOOOOOO

Jack scratched his head over the next entry. It looked like his handwriting, but he was certain he hadn't written it. He would have certainly remembered anything that could provoke an entry like that.

5. Manipulating the space/time continuum for personal gain, or for any reason, is strictly forbidden.

Maybe, he realized, he wouldn't remember. Now there was a disturbing thought. Taking out his pen, he underlined the entry.


	2. Chapter 2

EUREKA'S RULES

By Aesop

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show, Eureka, or any of the characters, and no profit is earned in writing this.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I noted that no one at had yet put up a story like this for Eureka and wanted to be the first.

Henry frowned at the fifth item on the list and then went inside. "Hey, Jack?"

"Hey, Henry! How ya' doin'?"

"Well enough. What's with the list?"

Jack shrugged. "Been a rough week." Henry nodded and decided to drop it. A movement outside caught their attention and he stepped outside in time to see Fargo striding away in a huff. Both men looked down at the list and wondered.

6. Radiation alarms are not for practical jokes.

"I'm not sure I want to know," Jack muttered.

OOOOOOOOOO

Dripping and shivering from the last blast of rogue weather that the machine had produced, Jack paused at his office door and penned the next entry personally.

7. Weather machines. Don't!

OOOOOOOOOO

The next item appeared in Stark's handwriting, and Jack was surprised, both that the arrogant scientist who was often the bane of his existence would bother, and at the nature of the addition. Was he still harping on that, or had something new happened?

8. There are some things artificial intelligences should not be trusted with. Psychiatric counseling is one of them.

He decided to ask Sarah later.

OOOOOOOOOO

Zoe didn't recognize the handwriting, but the sentiment was a familiar one. It was also proof that even geeks got frustrated with technology.

9. Rebooting your computer does NOT involve steel-toed boots.

OOOOOOOOOO

Stark had made another entry, and Jack was vaguely annoyed that the man had beaten him to it. One of the high-level computer geeks at Global had let his project get a bit out of hand, and it had taken a complete shutdown of the mainframe to stop the rogue program. There were going to be 'War Games' jokes for weeks to come.

10. No more artificial intelligence till I see proof of the real thing.


	3. Chapter 3

EUREKA'S RULES

By Aesop

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show, Eureka, or any of the characters, and no profit is earned in writing this.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I noted that no one at had yet put up a story like this for Eureka and wanted to be the first.

It was an obvious entry after the science fair debacle, and one he hoped people would take to heart.

11. Do not steal other people's ideas.

11a. If you do, at least make sure you understand what you're stealing.

OOOOOOOOOO

"I hate meices to pieces," Carter muttered as he collapsed into his desk chair.

Jo stared at him, unsure how to respond to that.

"Jinx the cat? Pixie and Dixie? Honestly, Jo, did you never watch cartoons when you were a kid?"

"I get the sentiment if not the reference," she allowed, deciding to move on. "Whoever thought genetically engineered smart mice was a good idea should have to clean up after them."

"Good idea." Carter stood up and made his way outside. Jo followed a moment later, curiosity overcoming fatigue.

12. Smart mice? Dumb idea. Don't make anything smarter than you are. If it escapes from the lab; you will be the one catching it.

OOOOOOOOOO

The jeep was still in the shop and SARAH was still playing chauffer after a week. Carter was officially down to his last nerve. The personalized license plate someone had provided, CTR-111, was the last straw.

13. Anyone making jokes about the car will be docked 50 IQ points. I'm not kidding, people!

OOOOOOOOOO

The next entry appeared without explanation, and Carter wouldn't discuss it. All anyone knew was that he had answered a late night call to a lab on the outskirts of the town.

14. Ouija boards are not a legitimate tool for scientific investigation.

OOOOOOOOOO

Dream sharing might, Carter thought, be an interesting premise for a sci-fi flick or a porno movie depending on one's tastes. The reality had seemed to combine aspects of horror and soap opera. Either way, he decided, he wouldn't be sleeping for a while. The more rational of Eureka's citizens had tried to reassure him, but he couldn't sleep and had honestly not made much of an effort. On the third morning after the bizarre shared dreams had finally stopped, drastic steps were taken, leading him to put another entry on the list.

15. Do NOT try to slip me decaf! I know the difference!


	4. Chapter 4

EUREKA'S RULES

By Aesop

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show, Eureka, or any of the characters, and no profit is earned in writing this.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I noted that no one at had yet put up a story like this for Eureka and wanted to be the first.

The shared dreams had been bad enough. Jo knew about the clause in her contract, and accepted the risks as being part of the job, but THIS was really irritating. Making her way down the street, she glared at those that stared at her too openly. Double blind tests were an important tool in scientific research, she supposed, but if there was a chance that a new soap being tested was going to turn those using it orange, people really ought to be warned. She reached the Sheriff's office, and took out a pen, only to find someone had beaten her to it.

16. People are NOT guinea pigs. The next person caught performing experiments on humans without their express permission will be turned black and blue.

OOOOOOOOOO

_This won't work_, Carter told himself. He might not be any kind of scientist, but he was almost certain it wouldn't work. Nevertheless, he watched Henry tinker with the suspect device. A flash of light caught his attention and he looked at the window. The miniature lightning storm that had been plaguing Eureka for the past few days was coming up the street. "Henry?"

"Just a sec.'"

"Henry?" He called a bit more urgently, glancing at his friend lying on his back under a large metal contraption.

"Almost got it. Hah! Got it! That should get rid of the st-"

He was cut off as Jack grabbed his ankles and pulled him clear of the machine. A second later, the alleged culprit was sparking and burning. "What happened?" Henry asked, staring in disbelief at the storm as it continued down the street without the slightest sign of dissipating.

"You just made the list," Carter answered.

17. Shaving with Occam's razor can be hazardous to your health. The simplest answer isn't always the right one.

OOOOOOOOOO

No one was sure who had put the latest item on the list or what precisely it referred to, and no one was likely to admit to it. The entry was written in crayon, though, so everyone knew when it had been written.

18. I call no do-overs. Now it's a rule!

OOOOOOOOOO

Nursing a collection of scrapes and bruises collected over the course of the day, and profoundly grateful for the curious looks he was receiving, Carter stopped outside his office to add to the list. Knowing that things could have been much worse wasn't much of a consolation, but he was still happy to have gotten off lighter than Frank the spook. Jack, at least, hadn't wandered into traffic.

19. The most important thing to remember if you find yourself invisible is that YOUR INVISIBLE.

OOOOOOOOOO

Jo looked up from her paperwork, sniffing. The odor was unlike anything she'd encountered before, and she fervently hoped she'd never encounter it again. A glance at the sheriff gave a hint of the source. He was staring at the door and holding his nose.

Taggart was at the door, putting an entry on the list. He was covered in a sticky, foul smelling mess that Jo didn't even want to speculate about. They waited until Eureka's resident wildlife biologist had moved on and the air had cleared a bit before going out to see what he'd written.

"Wow," Carter said, blinking at the entry. "I never thought anyone in this town would say _that_."

20. There are some things man was not meant to know.


	5. Chapter 5

EUREKA'S RULES

By Aesop

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show, Eureka, or any of the characters, and no profit is earned in writing this.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I noted that no one at had yet put up a story like this for Eureka and wanted to be the first.

Someone was mocking his list. More than one person, he realized, noting the different handwriting for each item. Carter glared at the lines. He supposed it was to be expected, but this was just juvenile, and who remembered that ad campaign, anyway?

21. You got science on my religion!

22. You got religion on my science!

The bizarre side effects of the grieving scientist's experiment had been hard enough to deal with. They didn't need the bad jokes. Carter added the next line.

23. Cut that out!

OOOOOOOOOO

"They should be smarter than this," Carter insisted. Henry just smirked at him. "Honestly, how many stories are there where things like this go wrong?" Henry appeared to consider the question. "How many are there where it ends well?"

"Don't you think you're overreacting?"

"No," Carter answered, "I don't. I thought all of that pollen was taken care of, anyway."

"It was. This formula is only a derivative of the pollen, a pale imitation."

"Still a bad idea," the sheriff opined pulling out his pen.

24. Love potions are not only a bad idea, they're against the law.

OOOOOOOOOO

The clean up was still underway and apparently would be for some time to come. The incredibly smart people doing the work kept getting distracted by shiny objects. Finally, Carter had had enough.

25. All that glitters is not gold, and even if it is, it isn't yours.

An addendum was added later that day.

25A. So stop swiping my silverware!


	6. Chapter 6

EUREKA'S RULES

By Aesop

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show, Eureka, or any of the characters, and no profit is earned in writing this.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I noted that no one at had yet put up a story like this for Eureka and wanted to be the first.

People stopped and stared. Carter supposed he couldn't really blame them. Covered in soot and unidentifiable stains where his uniform had managed to hold together, he suspected he looked like something the cat had refused to drag in. "Just another day in Eureka," he muttered. Scientists should be smarter, he groused to himself, or at least more mature. Home, shower, and sleep were his priorities, but there was something he felt he had to do first. The latest incident demanded an entry on the list.

26. Reversing the polarity of the neutron flow is strictly forbidden.

OOOOOOOOOO

"The theory is sound," Henry pointed out.

"Yeah? How far are we from practical application?" Carter heaved the last piece of what had been his desk into the dumpster, annoyed at the necessity, but mainly glad he hadn't been sitting at it at the time.

"Impossible to say," his friend hedged and glanced over at the sheriff's office with it's brand new skylight. Carter grunted. "Admittedly, a field test was premature."

"Ya think?" He walked around the front and took out his pen.

27. As the hole in my roof proves, anti-gravity is still science fiction. Please keep it in the lab.

OOOOOOOOOO

"You're joking," Carter said, without any real hope that Fargo was actually joking.

"Sorry, sheriff. Terrence is a bigger fan than I am. After that experiment a while back that had everyone running for the church, Dr. Dicks decided it was possible and started working on it on his own time."

"Maybe, after this, you'll keep a closer eye on personal projects," Carter griped, surveying the damage. Every bit of glass in a two block radius had been shattered. "This was done by something that was supposed to be a tool?" Fargo nodded.

28. There is no such thing as a sonic screwdriver. Stop trying to invent one.

OOOOOOOOOO

The next entry was in Fargo's hand. After reading it, Carter really wasn't sure he wanted to know. He was sure that he was happy to have missed the incident that had inspired the entry.

29. Anyone attempting to build a light saber will be fired.

OOOOOOOOOO

Apparently, the new head of Global had had enough. Carter read the entry and added a silent amen.

30. Science fiction is hereby banned from Eureka.


	7. Chapter 7

EUREKA'S RULES

By Aesop

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show, Eureka, or any of the characters, and no profit is earned in writing this.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I noted that no one at had yet put up a story like this for Eureka and wanted to be the first.

Jack looked at the disaster area that had once been a GD laboratory and sighed. "How long has this been going on?" The late doctor Hamilton's assistant looked distinctly nervous, but he answered.

"We-we've only been certain that the experiments worked for about a month. It seemed to be a fantastic success. Intelligence was considerably higher than the norm, and it seemed quite docile. There were no indications that it was violent until last night."

"Until it decided it didn't want to live in a cage, you mean?"

31. Take a hint from those banned sci-fi movies. Genetically engineered smart animals ALWAYS go bad.

OOOOOOOOOO

He needed help from Jo and three marines to wrestle it into a cage, and that was only after nearly a week of tracking the thing. They would have found it sooner if it hadn't had help hiding. Eureka's newest resident, an expert in zoology, animal husbandry, and a few things Carter had never heard of, had taken the beast in. Fortunately, he had gotten off lighter than Dr. Hamilton, while still earning himself a place on the list.

32. Escaped lab experiments do NOT make good pets.

OOOOOOOOOO

"I take it that, if it weren't banned, the movie this week would be 'The Island of Dr. Moreau?'"

Jack gave Fargo an irritated look. "That's in very poor taste Fargo. True but in very poor taste." Fargo just shrugged. "Anyway, I was thinking of a western tonight." He drew a few of his favorites out of the Blockbuster Video bag. "Taggart is bringing the beer, and Zane is on snack detail."

--

He debated with himself over the entry, but given the shambles his house had become, he didn't feel too bad about the embarrassment it might cause his movie night guests. SARAH still wasn't talking to him. Admittedly, it had been partially his fault. Maybe he shouldn't have had so many beers, but still…

33. Choose leisure time activities with caution. Geeks, beer, and John Wayne marathons do not mix.

OOOOOOOOOO

Jo sighed and settled in next to Carter's bedside. The doctors said he would be fine, but he might be out for another day or two. At the time, there had seemed to be no other way, and no one faulted Jack for doing it. Only one or two grumbled about the way he had stopped the malfunctioning prototype. He had done it in what people had begun to think of as typical Jack fashion, leading one of the project's scientists to put rule 34 on the list.

34. Sometimes, not often, but sometimes, the hit-it-with-a-big-rock approach really is the best way.

OOOOOOOOOO

Martha the killer drone was home, Zoe was at work, Larry was in the hospital, and the 'Fixer' was on the warpath. Jack sighed. The town definitely hadn't made a good first impression on the new head of GD. Larry was in the doghouse with just about everyone and was shaking in his hospital bed over whether he'd have a job to come back to when released. Jack wasn't all that sympathetic.

It could have been worse, he supposed, but he didn't like to think about how. The latest entry was a given after the day they'd had. It really shouldn't have to be said but…

35. Don't mess with other people's projects.


	8. Chapter 8

EUREKA'S RULES

By Aesop

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show, Eureka, or any of the characters, and no profit is earned in writing this.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I noted that no one at had yet put up a story like this for Eureka and wanted to be the first.

He was fairly certain he knew who had put the latest entry on the list, although, it surprised him that she would bother. It was looking like lab 27 would be shut down or at least the biosphere project would be put on indefinite hold. Several key members were leaving, and Thorne was seriously considering scrapping the entire thing. The atavism debacle had and would cost a lot of time and money to clean up. That was what gave it away.

Carter rolled his eyes over the blatant monetary motive behind the item while applauding the general sentiment. He underlined the last sentence.

36. Actions have consequences. Expensive consequences. Think first.

OOOOOOOOOO

The point of the fake dog show, part of it anyway, Carter reflected as he changed his pants, was to develop new technologies and find innovative uses for them. That was just one of the reasons he found Fargo's behavior annoying in the extreme.

37. Cheaters will not prosper.

OOOOOOOOOO

Stark stared at the results of the radiation survey and said something obscene. He glanced up at Henry and Jack. "She asked you to bury this?"

Henry nodded. "I'll get a project team on it. We need to find out where the radiation came from and find a way to clean it up safely." He shook his head. "Where does a business woman get off making scientific judgments?"

"Exactly how bad is this?" Carter asked.

"Bad," Stark sighed, "and it's getting worse." He glanced at Jack. "I want to make entry for this one.

38. Being an expert in one field doesn't make you an expert in others. Don't make important decisions based on scientific data you don't understand.

OOOOOOOOOO

Covered in dirt from her unexpected underground adventure, and not at all happy about it, Eva Thorne decided it was time to add another item to the Sheriff's list. It might seem silly, and she would take more official action, but the list did seem to have an affect on the people of the town.

39. Tunneling machines are to stay outside the city limits.

OOOOOOOOOO

Carter fumed. Two men were dead because of a half-assed project that should have been scrapped before it ever leaving the drawing-board. The lack of common sense it demonstrated boggled the mind. Allison was a basket-case and the whole town was in mourning.

He wondered if anyone had died in the incident that inspired rule five. There was no way of knowing, and as far as Jack was concerned, that was reason enough to make the point clear. When he looked at the list, though, he saw someone had beaten him to it.

With an unpleasant and unexpected pang, he recognized the late Nathan Stark's handwriting.

40. Rule 5. Read it. Know it. Live it.


	9. Chapter 9

EUREKA'S RULES

By Aesop

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show, Eureka, or any of the characters, and no profit is earned in writing this.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I noted that no one at had yet put up a story like this for Eureka and wanted to be the first.

Café Diem would be closed for a day or two, minimum, while the mess in the freezer was cleaned up. Apparently, the bugs had flown in all directions while trying to get away from the cold. They were literally everywhere. Carter had taken one look at the mess and 'delegated' the job to Jo. He knew he would pay for it later, but at the time, it had been worth it. The entire mess made the next entry on the list all the more necessary in his opinion.

41. Signs warning of death and destruction should be heeded, no matter what language they are in.

OOOOOOOOOO

_Sibling rivalry is one thing_, Zoe thought morosely, _but this is ridiculous_. The 'misplaced' last copy of her aunt's Indian music had sparked a flurry of new 'rules.' Zoe sighed as she read the first salvo.

42. Freedom of expression has apparently been suspended.

Zoe sighed. Her aunt really should have known better. Her father's response was restrained under the circumstances.

43. Noise pollution complaints filed by family members do carry legal weight.

OOOOOOOOOO

Both men were out of the hospital and Chuck's future was being carefully considered. He had broken a number of laws, but his gadget had helped save four lives. That would be taken into consideration. The manner in which GD disposed of failed projects was also being considered

44. All discontinued GD projects, regardless of their intended use, are to be completely disassembled before being 'Chucked.'

OOOOOOOOOO

_And it continues_, Jo traded irritated glances with the sheriff's daughter. They both thought the Captain Eureka incident safely behind them. Evidently, that was not the case. The first entry was In Lexi Carter's handwriting.

45. Wearing a costume does not make one a dangerous lunatic.

Her brother, still annoyed over the whole incident and having no idea why Lexi was defending the misguided suitor that had nearly killed her, had quickly fired back.

45a. Yes it does.


	10. Chapter 10

EUREKA'S RULES

By Aesop

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show, Eureka, or any of the characters, and no profit is earned in writing this.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I noted that no one at had yet put up a story like this for Eureka and wanted to be the first.

Long buried secret labs, Zoe reflected as she limped along the street toward her father's office, made for good sci-fi and horror, but living in a town in which they seemed to be common was sometimes more than she could deal with. She knew her broken ankle was her own fault, but still, if she hadn't wandered in there someone would have. _Right?_

46. Remember that literally building a town on secrets has its drawbacks.

OOOOOOOOOO

There were a lot of things it was nice to have two of, Carter reflected. Two nephews for instance. A two party system and a bicameral legislature were also good things, according to Lexi, anyway. Carter had his doubts. What he did not doubt was that two suns was a bad thing. He checked the list and found an entry he thought was in the principal's handwriting.

47. School projects that go nova do not get passing grades.

OOOOOOOOOO

Kylie scowled. There were people in the town that had made bigger mistakes and wound up getting Nobel prizes; all she got was grounded. It wasn't fair.

48. Don't forget that there is always risk in scientific advancement.

OOOOOOOOOO

Thorne's willingness to sacrifice the town without even trying to save it didn't make sense. It was definitely not in character. The woman never gave up without a fight. The only way it made sense was if there was something in that complex she wanted to hide. With this in mind he penned his next rule, wondering if the phone call he planned to make to the general would have the desired effect or if Thorne would just do something more drastic.

49. Some secrets should not be kept. Think first.

OOOOOOOOOO

People were still reeling from the day's revelations. Eureka's dual nature had never been more evident. The existence and nature of the small town was classified and the people who lived there were used to keeping secrets, but it was, nevertheless, a small town. That meant that secrets, especially secrets like this, tended to spread like wildfire. The details might have been a bit fuzzy, but everyone knew why the ground had shaken briefly and why Thorne had disappeared. Everyone knew the result as well, and no one was particularly happy about it. No one knew who posted rule fifty, but people began lining up to follow it.

50. Sign the attached petition to reinstate Sheriff Carter. It's a rule.


	11. Chapter 11

_**EUREKA'S RULES**_

_**By Aesop**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show, Eureka, or any of the characters, and no profit is earned in writing this.**_

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I noted that no one at had yet put up a story like this for Eureka and wanted to be the first. Thanks to Storyseeker for proofreading this story.

_I gotta be nuts_, Jack thought as yet another 50 lb. pinecone dented the hood of his car. Really, 7 %? _I gotta be nuts!_ He kept driving, determining to make a new addition to the list when he got back.

51. Never tell me the odds.

OOOOOOOOOO

Andy's decision to quit was entirely logical, Fargo reflected. There was no need for Mansfield to take that tone or to say what he had in that tone. It was the DOD's own fault for giving the robot the ability to make its own decisions, based on the evidence. They had only themselves to blame.

Fargo took out his pen, as he approached the door of the Sheriff's office. That scrap pile crack really had been uncalled for.

52. Remember, AIs have feelings too. Sort of. I think.

OOOOOOOOOO

Carter frowned in confusion at the latest entry. Clearly something interesting had happened during Jo's stint as acting sheriff. "This should be interesting," he muttered, pushing his way inside.

53. Redefining identity theft is NOT a scientific achievement.

OOOOOOOOOO

The 'Dreckman' was setting up in his new lab. His ex-wife was working with him, asked by Allison to keep her ex-husband in check.

Carter silently wished her luck and returned to his office. On the way, he got a chance to assess exactly how much damage had been done by the P-brane. It looked like a tornado had passed through town, and then backed up. He'd been reviewing possible entries to make on the list to cover similar situations, but found that someone had beaten him to it.

54. Who ya gonna call? Not Drechmeyer.

Drechmeyer had quickly fired back.

55. Scientific achievements are often misunderstood early on. People laughed at Einstein.

55a. No they didn't.

_Not again_, Carter sighed. He ended the ensuing debate with an entry of his own.

55b. Knock it off. If you want to mock another scientist; do it in the scientific journals like grownups.


	12. Chapter 12

_**EUREKA'S RULES**_

_**By Aesop**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show, Eureka, or any of the characters, and no profit is earned in writing this.**_

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I noted that no one at had yet put up a story like this for Eureka and wanted to be the first. Thanks to Storyseeker for proofreading this story.

Duncan was anxious to hotfoot it out of town, and take Lexi and their unborn kids somewhere safe, not that Jack blamed him. Some people just weren't suited for life in Eureka. Frankly, there were some days he was surprised that there wasn't a mass exodus.

56. Science projects do NOT make good pets.

OOOOOOOOOO

Automation, Zoey thought, could definitely be taken too far. Having a computer drive your car for you was fine. Very convenient. When a computer started driving people, though, that was another matter. It was just another example of people getting too excited about their technology and implementing it without thinking. She was definitely seeing a pattern.

57. Test your inventions thoroughly before setting them loose on the public.

OOOOOOOOOO

A computer virus that infected humans. That was definitely a new one. Tess found herself inclined to agree with Zoey's latest addition to the list, but there was no one to really blame for this one. She didn't see how anyone could have seen it coming and thought an addendum to Zoey's comment might be in order.

58. More caution is definitely in order, but not every possibility can be predicted. Ship happens.

OOOOOOOOOO

Carter's accident with Dr. Monroe's linked-biorhythm baby monitor had given several people ideas. The male researchers that got wind of it were deeply worried. Fortunately for prospective father's everywhere, the baby monitor used technology that wouldn't see the open market for years. That didn't keep the men of Eureka from worrying that their wives would want them to share the 'joys of pregnancy'. An entry had already been made on the list to discourage it.

59. Recent events have proven that innovative uses of technology can be dangerous. Testing, years of testing, is necessary.

OOOOOOOOOO

Everyone's memories had returned, for the most part. People had come to themselves not sure what they were doing or in some cases where they were. Tess was not happy with Fargo. No one was. Fortunately the response had been restrained.

60. One more time. DO NOT MESS WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S PROJECTS.


	13. Chapter 13

EUREKA'S RULES

By Aesop

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show, Eureka, or any of the characters, and no profit is earned in writing this.**

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: I noted that no one at had yet put up a story like this for Eureka and wanted to be the first. Thanks to Storyseeker for proofreading this story._

OOOOOOOOOO

The list was intact, Jack noted. There were some minor changes here and there. Rule 18, for instance, was written in sky blue crayon instead of canary yellow. There was a thumb print next to rule 20, made in a substance Jack still didn't want identified. For the most part, however, everything was the same. There was also an extra entr. It was in Andy's very precise hand.

61. Although Dr. Asimov had some good ideas, the three laws weren't deemed appropriate for a peace officer. Stop trying to use them to wiggle out of traffic tickets.

OOOOOOOOOO

Tess was not a happy scientist. She had spent a year of her life building what turned out to be a billion dollar lightning rod. Fargo may have apologized, and that still amazed her, but she felt something more was in order.

62. Even highly classified projects require oversight. Secrets have consequences. Expensive and painful consequences.

OOOOOOOOOO

Jack wasn't sure who had put 63 on the list, but there was a town full of suspects. He doubted that General Mansfield would be pleased if he saw it, but then he'd probably consider the entire list a security breach.

63. Don't build machines that change people's moods. An anger ray? Really? Has that ever ended well?

OOOOOOOOOO

Jack read the latest entry and sighed. He knew skipping Space Week was a good idea. He was a little surprised by Alison, but it was understandable. She was still adapting and literally didn't know her son. That had to be rough. He frowned over the entry, though. That couldn't be Mansfield's handwriting, could it? Not the response he would have expected from the general.

64. Felons and expensive top-secret projects do NOT mix well.

The next entry was in Jo's distinctive hand. Jack let out a low whistle, hoping for his former deputy's sake that Mansfield didn't see it.

64a. Neither do stars on the shoulders and properly run criminal investigations.

OOOOOOOOOO

Jack placed the next entry himself. He would never tell anyone that he had resorted to 'eenie meenie minie mo' to choose between the detonator and the defuser. Fargo would pass out on the spot if he found out how close his head and body had come to taking separate vacations.

65. Potentially dangerous equipment in GD storage rooms needs to be clearly labeled.


End file.
